Do as I say...

Do as I say...

 

Our actions speak so loudly that what we say is often inconsequential. Communication is frequently nonverbal. Therefore, we learn to trust the people whose nonverbal actions match their words.

 

Earn my respect.

 

Respect can only be given. True respect is offered even in the face of disrespect.

 

Boys will be boys.

 

Respect isn’t always granted to others due to the status quo, which is still intact.

 

Not my child.

 

Many people don’t understand that they have the responsibility to give and teach respect.

 

Disrespect is violence.

 

Violence is designed to cause harm, create fear, and/or intimidate. The same can be said for disrespect.

 

Anybody can fight.

 

Anybody can fight... until they get punched. We have to offer respect, even when we’re disrespected. Offering respect says more about who you are than it says about the other person.

 

 

Charlie Bit Me

 

In this video, a young boy sits with his baby brother. He places his finger in the toddler’s mouth and the baby chomps on his finger. The older boy screeches in pain. He tells anyone who will listen that Charlie, the little brother, is biting his finger. Charlie eventually releases his brother’s finger and the older boy complains about his pain. The two boys then laugh together. Do you think this will happen again? Why or why not?

 

It’s clear to us that the older boy is in pain after the toddler bites his finger. The boy could have easily avoided this pain by not putting his finger in his brother’s mouth - that would’ve been his antecedent. However, he did put his finger in the toddler’s mouth. The older brother was seeking something, so he was willing to endure the pain in under to find it. In this case, that may have been attention, approval, or affirmation. Often people act in ways that outsiders don’t understand, as if they’re working against their best interest. Our job is to point out where these behaviors will lead, then demonstrate/provide alternative options that will show the way to their goals.

Respect... You have to EARN IT!

 

This picture clearly depicts a power difference. All too often we approach situations, people, or institutions as if there is no balance of power. Those in power typically demand respect from individuals who don’t have access to power/have limited authority.

 

In other situations, those who have been in a position to deny power or respect also find themselves in circumstances which reinforce the paradigm, denying individuals access to power and respect.

 

Describe what’s going on in this picture.

 

How do you know that respect is not being given?

 

 

Antecedents

 

Four People You’ll Find in Your Change Process.

 

We can surround ourselves with people who will be supportive of our goals. They will be referred to as adders (+).

 

We may also find that there are people who don’t have our best interest in mind and they are subtractors (-).

 

Folks who can see helpful paths that we may not see ourselves are multipliers (x).

 

Finally, there are also folks who cannot stand the changes we are making in our lives. They’ll become upset because we are disrupting the status quo through our journey. These people are dividers (/).

 

 

Choice: the power of humanity.

 

We are granted the power of choice and this allows us to create our own path, aligning ourselves with the purpose of our existence. Choice allows us to use trials and mishaps as learning opportunities. We evaluate the choice and decide if it’s a waste of our energy.

 

Awaken to the power of choice.

 

A paradigm is a pattern or standard through which we view the world. If the way we currently see the world is hindering our progression toward our goals, then we have the choice to shift our thinking.

 

 

 

E+R=O: Event + Response = Outcome

 

Jack Canfield’s “E+R=O” idea may be found in his books and seminars. It teaches us thatEvents combined with our Response to the event equals its Outcome. This equation provides a way for us to make sense of our lives. It empowers us to make better choices.

 

We can’t control events.

 

Our reaction to various events is integrated into our patterns of thinking. However, we can guide the outcome with an appropriate antecedent or precursor. An antecedent is the foundation for our patterns of thoughts which allows us to have greater control of the outcome. It is a phenomena that allows us to avoid an entire situation.