New Car SMell
Why is it so difficult to change? I said a New Year's resolution. I started a diet. I stuck to it. I started an exercise regimen. I was working on it. Why is it so difficult to change? One word, gravity. Now, I know. What does gravity have to do with change, right? Gravity is a scientific term. What does that have to do with my social well being or even philosophy for that matter? Gravity, gravity, gravity.
First of all, what is gravity? Gravity is a force that pulls. It's something that keeps us on the earth. Without gravity we would fly off into...float off into space, right? Gravity was discovered by Newton, the falling of the apple, all that kind of stuff, the force that pulls.
Now, one of the basic premises of gravity is this. Well, actually there's two and they're related, right? They counter balance each other. So gravity is a force that pulls. One of the basic premises of that concept of gravity is that the larger the mass of an object the stronger the pull and that larger objects pull on smaller objects. So, larger objects pull on smaller objects. So, the larger the object the stronger the pull, the smaller the object the smaller the pull. Gravity, right? That's the basic concept.
For example, if I'm flying out in space and there are two planets and one is just this huge planet and this other one's just this teeny, tiny little planet, which will my ship be drawn to? Based on the principles of gravity, it will go to the larger planet, right? It's almost automatic even though I've got thrusters and all this kind of stuff. So I will be drawn to that larger planet.
Back to the original question, why, oh why, oh why is it difficult to change? It's difficult to change because the old habits that we have are very similar to that large planet. They have a strong gravitational pull on us. We try to do things different, but that gravitational pull is so strong that we fire our jets, our engines and our space ship, and we try to go to this new planet. But when we run out of gas, we have to cut back. What happens? We float right back to that old behavior or those old habits or that old planet with the big gravity.
And so, a lot of us, we think positive. We're doing positive affirmations. We're doing all of these things, and our ship keeps floating back to this old way of being. So, Andre, what do we do? I mean, how do we change that? Well, one of the things we have to understand is that this is just a metaphor that I'm using and that in this metaphor... Well, let's just do this.
I'll tell you this story, right? I took my car in for service, and while I'm at the service place they say, well, why don't you test drive one of our cars? I'm like, no, no, no. I don't want to. I don't need to do that. And they're like, no, really, just test drive one of the cars. And so, while I'm waiting, I'm like, this seems like a great idea. So, I get in the car, and oh man, let me tell you.
I don't know if you've ever bought a new car or a car that's new to you, but they are absolutely ‑ I mean they lay it out, right? You sit in the seat and it's so comfortable. It is just amazing, right?
The ergonomics of the steering wheel and the shifter and all that kind of ‑ it just...ooh, feels good.
And it's clean. I mean just sparkling clean. The stereo works. There's no crackling. And it's like you've got like 30 million speakers surrounding you, like you're in Orchestra Hall and turn up the [sings] , all of that stuff.
You're sitting in the car like "ooh", and they even have their own fragrance. Yes. New cars have their own fragrance. And so you get in the car and you're like and then you're like "oh", and just peaceful. Where I go, they always have it turned to the classical station so it's like, [makes sound] . And it's feeling good and everything is clean and it's working and it's driving smooth and it's just oh...it's amazing. Absolutely amazing.
And then I return the car. Yes. Because my car's done, it's time for me to go home. I had my fantasy and all that kind of stuff.
So I just experienced this new car. I experienced the smells and the feeling and the sounds of this new car. And then I get in my Saturn. Now, mind you, I love my Saturn. Love it. But it's not new. Because when I turn on the stereo, like two of the speakers work but only if I turn the bass all the way down. Otherwise [makes deep sound] , so that's that.
And then, one of my...so, you know when you do the squirt for the windshield wipers, one of the things trickles a little bit but the other one squirts out gallons, like [makes swoosh sound] . So like, I'm filling that sucker up like every time it rains. And so there's that.
And, I have a bad habit of eating in my car, so there's...yeah, OK, so you can see that.
And so I'm a little dissatisfied with my Saturn. Great car. Great car. But I'm a little dissatisfied. What happened?
One of the things that car dealers know that you and I need to realize about ourselves is that when I have this planet of old behavior over here that gravity can take care of the rest of my decision‑making. I'm drawn to this because it's the largest piece.
And so what car dealers do for you and I when we go there is, they want to make that car so appealing, they want to make that new behavior, if you will, so beautiful, so colorful, that it tantalizes all of our senses so that we become dissatisfied with the old planet.
You see, one of the things that if we want to make a change and why it's so difficult is because we're not dissatisfied with this old planet. We're not dissatisfied with our old behaviors. When we start seeing the beauty of what these new behaviors have to offer, we get to see how big and vast this new planet can be ‑ of opportunities, of choices, of ways of living ‑ that we become dissatisfied with the old.
So, once I decide and I create a new attitude and I create new routines and habits and ways of thinking and seeing the world in a different way, I can't go back to that old planet. Even if I wanted to. Because now, gravity has kicked in. And so my ship starts to float towards this new behavior.
I just want to know, what planet are you going to be on?
Atlanta, we're all hanging out and we're talking and reminiscing and all this kind of stuff. And for some reason ‑‑ well, there's lots of food around, right? And so, we're talking about different foods and meals and what people brought and what they like to create and all sorts of stuff. And my sister, Crystal, chimes in and she says, "Do you guys remember that one time when we had pancakes for breakfast" ‑‑ I mean, for dinner ‑‑ "we had pancakes for dinner?"
And so, yeah, we started chiming in and we're talking about how that was our favorite meal. It was so exciting and different and all sorts of stuff. And there's joy and laughter and we're just laughing about it, and we're having a good time.
And my mom is sitting there. So it's Damion, Crystal, William, and myself, right? We're sitting there and then my mom just smiles with this great grin and she just kind of shakes her head and closes her eyes. And it's just giggling and kind of bubbly with that.
So Damion looks over at Mom and says, "Mom, what's so funny? What's going on?" And she looks at us and she says, "You guys just didn't know." And we're like, "What, Mom? What do we not know? That was our favorite meal."
That stuck out above all else that she's ever cooked for us. That one meal made a lasting impression on us to the point that we talked to our nieces and nephews, our children, about this one experience. And she just looks and she says, "You guys, the reason we had pancakes for dinner is because that's all we had."
Wow. It's really interesting what happens when we give all that we have. When we give something our best, we make that sacrifice and we make things happen for people. They typically remember that kind of stuff.
Now, it speaks to a lot of things about my family, about poverty and not having, and all this absence. And we can look at all of those things as negative things, but one of the things that I'm so happy about is that we may not have had much money but we were never poor in spirit.
We always had something driving us to understand how beautiful the world is. And although we may not have had any money or anything else to eat, that one meal changed that course of our family history.
You don't have to have a lot to be a lot. You don't have to collect the riches and the cars and the houses. All you have to do is give the best you have of yourself and people will remember that.
Andre's purpose is to reconnect people to their Dignity and Honor in Being Human.
We are never far
nurturing the seeds of change
Andre Koen, Facilitator
Conference call 218.852.6114 ext. 823042
Online training www.organizationallift.com
This Drives Our Work:
- Unity of the Individual(s)
- Goal Orientation
- Race as Construct
- Self-Determination and Uniqueness
- Social Context
- The Feeling of Community
- Mental Health/Wealth
- Individual Striving
- Social/Individual Interest