Born Black Andre Koen: |
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Born black 1 Andre Koen: Very good. As a teacher, I hated those teachers that would end up, "Be quiet," and all of that kind of stuff. First of all, how many people were able to find two folks for each one of your circles? Please raise your hand. So as you were walking around, and you were looking at people's papers, were there things that you saw in someone else's paper and you're like, "Oh, why didn't I think of that?" Or, "I could've put that on mine." What were some of those things? Friends. Art. Health. Music. Education. Independence. Freedom. Justice. Cool, cool, cool.Was there anyone that had a totally blank paper, where you weren't able to find...OK. Cool, cool, cool. Please raise your hand.
[laughter]
Andre: How many people had a circle that was either difficult to find someone to sign, or actually you did not find anyone to sign? What was one of yours, ma'am? Your dog's health? Your dad's health, so health for your parents, if you value that, please raise your hand, even if it wasn't written on your paper. OK, cool. Yes, ma'am? Autonomy. If you value autonomy, even if it wasn't written on your paper, please raise your hand. All right, cool.Yes, ma'am? Stability. If you value stability, even if wasn't written on your paper, raise your hand. All right, cool. Honesty. If you value...
[laughter]
Andre: If you value honesty, even if it wasn't written on your paper, please raise your hand. What do you think is the point of this particular exercise? Why would I even do something like this? We have more similarities than we do differences. It is easy for us to be seduced by the things that we see, that we think make us different. I guarantee you that if a squid monster from outer space came, we all look the same to it. Lunch.But for us, we think that we are different. What I would like to share with you...Let me ask this question first, because I've been doing this survey in a number of my trainings, and I want to see if my hypothesis plays itself out.
How many of you put your gender as one of those five things that's important to you? Please raise your hand if you put your gender as one of those things. OK, cool, cool, cool.
Please raise your hand if you put your so-called race as one of those five things. OK, some of you did...I wouldn't give you that luxury, because you don't prove my hypothesis right.
[laughter]
Andre: That's right. So my third question is simply this: How many put their socioeconomic status as one of those five things that they value? Huh. Why is it do you think that we didn't put those things as things that we value? We take them for granted. Why else? We don't know any different. We just don't think of it. It's how other people see you, and it doesn't seem like something someone can take away from you. I would argue because it's not that important.It's really not that important. Think about the stuff that you put on your list. I'm sure that there were close circles, or friends, or families, or did we have values that you put down there, and that race, ethnicity, and all this kind of stuff is not that important to us, but it seems to be awfully important to other people, to society. I have a confession to make. I was not always black.
[laughter]
Andre: It's a true story. I wasn't always black. In 1970, my mother and father got married. They were high school sweethearts. Their sophomore year in college they decided to make it legal, so they got together. And my dad put his DNA on the table, and my mom put her DNA on the table, and they mixed it all up. That's what they told me. [laughter] Andre: They mixed it all up, and I was in the oven for a little while, just chilling. Nine months, free roam. I'm in the pool just kicking it. [laughter] Andre: And then in 1970, October 30th, 6:58, they put my mom up in the stirrups, and she's wailing, and talking, and telling people to shut up, and, "Get away from me. Come here. Go away," and all of this stuff. They have her up in the stirrups, and the doctor's there with his catcher's mitt, and behind the doctor is a lady with a clipboard. On the lady's clipboard is a box called "African American," there's a box called "Caucasian," and at that time, there was a box called "Other." That was it.Behind her is another person from the education board saying, "Public school. Head start. Private school." Behind them is another person from the Social security Office, "Not going to live long enough to get social security. Must pay FICA all the time anyway." And then at 6:59, I was born, and when I was born, blackness was waiting on me.
When you were born, whiteness, or mongness, or Somaliness, or Sudanese, all of that stuff was waiting on you when you came. It's easy for us to get tricked by this, and we'll talk a little bit about it. The thing that really drives me crazy is when I hear people say this: "I don't see color. People are people to me. I'm colorblind." Have you experienced somebody like that?
Do you know what I tell them when they say, "I'm colorblind?" I say, "No, you're not colorblind. You're a liar. You see the difference. You see this, and the kinky hair, and the wide nose. You see that." And the problem is, we've been tricked into thinking that ignoring it, or trying to look past it, is the answer. And that's not the answer. The answer is to see it.
The problem, however, comes in the meaning, and the value that we associate with what we think this means. Like right now, throughout the country, particularly in Minneapolis, there's this achievement gap. Do you know what the biggest problem with the achievement gap is? Guess what it is. White people aren't mad, too. Let me qualify that. Enough white people aren't mad, too.
These are all our children, and when we get to a point where we can see them all as our children, then we'll really start making some movement. We'll talk more about that stuff later. I'll come back to this slide. Any questions or comments so far?
Yes sir, and we're going to talk about how do we redirect those emotions. Yeah? No, we're going to skip that. We'll come back to that.
So here's my approach. People can learn, change, and grow. Who I am today is not who I was at 17. Thank God, because as wide as my hair is now, it was up there. [sings]
[laughter]
Andre: All human behavior is goal-directed, which means that everybody does something for a reason. One of the things that frustrates us when we work with little kids is that they'll do something that we told them not to, and then we'll ask them why they did it, and what's their response? "I don't know." But we know, because their behavior's goal-directed. People do what makes sense to them, even if what? It doesn't make sense to you or I, but that's not a precursor to them making a decision.Attitude is a response to a goal. What have you been taught that an attitude is? What is an attitude? Did anyone every have an attitude? What's an attitude?
OK, so people say it's a good attitude, or a bad attitude. It's your actions toward something. I heard someone else. It's your opinion or your behavior. It's your outlook. Anything else? Because I would say that all of those are correct.
However, for me, they were a bit incomplete, because I mentioned earlier, my parents married when they were sophomores in college, which meant that we were experiments for all of their psychology classes. My parents tried all of this alternative discipline and all sorts of stuff. Did anybody ever have to hold dictionaries on one foot in the corner?
[laughter]
Andre: That's why we're so buff. My parents, it was like crazy stuff. I'd get mad about something, and they'd say, "Boy, fix your face," so I'm like... [laughter] Andre: Or my parents would say, "Boy, go to your room until you learn how to act." So I'd go into my room, and I'd be in there for a while, and then I'd step out to the hallway and I'd say, "To be or not to be." I spent a lot of time in my room. But one day, I finally got it. I told you my dad was my pastor, so on Sunday, we would go to church from 7:30 AM to 11:30 PM. We'd stop at 3:00 for chicken, not because we're black, but because chicken is delicious.[laughter]
Andre: Friday night, I ask my dad for the car, and what does my dad say? Because he loves me, what does he say? "He says no." No, he says yes. He loves me. So I get the keys, I hang out with my friends, I put gas in the car, I come home before curfew, and my father says I have what kind of an attitude? What kind of attitude? A good attitude, because I'm home before curfew, car's full. I have a good attitude. What do I say about my dad's attitude? He also has a good attitude, or a great attitude. So, Friday night, I have a good attitude, my dad has a good attitude.Sunday, my best friend, Dexter, calls me at noon and says, "Andre, can you pick me up from the movies?" What do I know about Sunday? Church all day. But I'm 17, I'm invincible, and Jesus is my friend.
So I go up to my dad and I say, "Dad, can I borrow the car?" What does my dad say? Not only does he say no, but he gives me a lecture about how I'm leading people to Hell. Every negative consequence in my house was, "You're going to Hell." "You didn't make your bed? Going to Hell. You didn't take out the trash? Going to Hell."
So I say my dad has what kind of an attitude? A bad attitude. And what does he say about my attitude? That it is also a bad attitude.
Transcript by CastingWords
[laughter]
Andre: How many people had a circle that was either difficult to find someone to sign, or actually you did not find anyone to sign? What was one of yours, ma'am? Your dog's health? Your dad's health, so health for your parents, if you value that, please raise your hand, even if it wasn't written on your paper. OK, cool. Yes, ma'am? Autonomy. If you value autonomy, even if it wasn't written on your paper, please raise your hand. All right, cool.Yes, ma'am? Stability. If you value stability, even if wasn't written on your paper, raise your hand. All right, cool. Honesty. If you value...
[laughter]
Andre: If you value honesty, even if it wasn't written on your paper, please raise your hand. What do you think is the point of this particular exercise? Why would I even do something like this? We have more similarities than we do differences. It is easy for us to be seduced by the things that we see, that we think make us different. I guarantee you that if a squid monster from outer space came, we all look the same to it. Lunch.But for us, we think that we are different. What I would like to share with you...Let me ask this question first, because I've been doing this survey in a number of my trainings, and I want to see if my hypothesis plays itself out.
How many of you put your gender as one of those five things that's important to you? Please raise your hand if you put your gender as one of those things. OK, cool, cool, cool.
Please raise your hand if you put your so-called race as one of those five things. OK, some of you did...I wouldn't give you that luxury, because you don't prove my hypothesis right.
[laughter]
Andre: That's right. So my third question is simply this: How many put their socioeconomic status as one of those five things that they value? Huh. Why is it do you think that we didn't put those things as things that we value? We take them for granted. Why else? We don't know any different. We just don't think of it. It's how other people see you, and it doesn't seem like something someone can take away from you. I would argue because it's not that important.It's really not that important. Think about the stuff that you put on your list. I'm sure that there were close circles, or friends, or families, or did we have values that you put down there, and that race, ethnicity, and all this kind of stuff is not that important to us, but it seems to be awfully important to other people, to society. I have a confession to make. I was not always black.
[laughter]
Andre: It's a true story. I wasn't always black. In 1970, my mother and father got married. They were high school sweethearts. Their sophomore year in college they decided to make it legal, so they got together. And my dad put his DNA on the table, and my mom put her DNA on the table, and they mixed it all up. That's what they told me. [laughter] Andre: They mixed it all up, and I was in the oven for a little while, just chilling. Nine months, free roam. I'm in the pool just kicking it. [laughter] Andre: And then in 1970, October 30th, 6:58, they put my mom up in the stirrups, and she's wailing, and talking, and telling people to shut up, and, "Get away from me. Come here. Go away," and all of this stuff. They have her up in the stirrups, and the doctor's there with his catcher's mitt, and behind the doctor is a lady with a clipboard. On the lady's clipboard is a box called "African American," there's a box called "Caucasian," and at that time, there was a box called "Other." That was it.Behind her is another person from the education board saying, "Public school. Head start. Private school." Behind them is another person from the Social security Office, "Not going to live long enough to get social security. Must pay FICA all the time anyway." And then at 6:59, I was born, and when I was born, blackness was waiting on me.
When you were born, whiteness, or mongness, or Somaliness, or Sudanese, all of that stuff was waiting on you when you came. It's easy for us to get tricked by this, and we'll talk a little bit about it. The thing that really drives me crazy is when I hear people say this: "I don't see color. People are people to me. I'm colorblind." Have you experienced somebody like that?
Do you know what I tell them when they say, "I'm colorblind?" I say, "No, you're not colorblind. You're a liar. You see the difference. You see this, and the kinky hair, and the wide nose. You see that." And the problem is, we've been tricked into thinking that ignoring it, or trying to look past it, is the answer. And that's not the answer. The answer is to see it.
The problem, however, comes in the meaning, and the value that we associate with what we think this means. Like right now, throughout the country, particularly in Minneapolis, there's this achievement gap. Do you know what the biggest problem with the achievement gap is? Guess what it is. White people aren't mad, too. Let me qualify that. Enough white people aren't mad, too.
These are all our children, and when we get to a point where we can see them all as our children, then we'll really start making some movement. We'll talk more about that stuff later. I'll come back to this slide. Any questions or comments so far?
Yes sir, and we're going to talk about how do we redirect those emotions. Yeah? No, we're going to skip that. We'll come back to that.
So here's my approach. People can learn, change, and grow. Who I am today is not who I was at 17. Thank God, because as wide as my hair is now, it was up there. [sings]
[laughter]
Andre: All human behavior is goal-directed, which means that everybody does something for a reason. One of the things that frustrates us when we work with little kids is that they'll do something that we told them not to, and then we'll ask them why they did it, and what's their response? "I don't know." But we know, because their behavior's goal-directed. People do what makes sense to them, even if what? It doesn't make sense to you or I, but that's not a precursor to them making a decision.Attitude is a response to a goal. What have you been taught that an attitude is? What is an attitude? Did anyone every have an attitude? What's an attitude?
OK, so people say it's a good attitude, or a bad attitude. It's your actions toward something. I heard someone else. It's your opinion or your behavior. It's your outlook. Anything else? Because I would say that all of those are correct.
However, for me, they were a bit incomplete, because I mentioned earlier, my parents married when they were sophomores in college, which meant that we were experiments for all of their psychology classes. My parents tried all of this alternative discipline and all sorts of stuff. Did anybody ever have to hold dictionaries on one foot in the corner?
[laughter]
Andre: That's why we're so buff. My parents, it was like crazy stuff. I'd get mad about something, and they'd say, "Boy, fix your face," so I'm like... [laughter] Andre: Or my parents would say, "Boy, go to your room until you learn how to act." So I'd go into my room, and I'd be in there for a while, and then I'd step out to the hallway and I'd say, "To be or not to be." I spent a lot of time in my room. But one day, I finally got it. I told you my dad was my pastor, so on Sunday, we would go to church from 7:30 AM to 11:30 PM. We'd stop at 3:00 for chicken, not because we're black, but because chicken is delicious.[laughter]
Andre: Friday night, I ask my dad for the car, and what does my dad say? Because he loves me, what does he say? "He says no." No, he says yes. He loves me. So I get the keys, I hang out with my friends, I put gas in the car, I come home before curfew, and my father says I have what kind of an attitude? What kind of attitude? A good attitude, because I'm home before curfew, car's full. I have a good attitude. What do I say about my dad's attitude? He also has a good attitude, or a great attitude. So, Friday night, I have a good attitude, my dad has a good attitude.Sunday, my best friend, Dexter, calls me at noon and says, "Andre, can you pick me up from the movies?" What do I know about Sunday? Church all day. But I'm 17, I'm invincible, and Jesus is my friend.
So I go up to my dad and I say, "Dad, can I borrow the car?" What does my dad say? Not only does he say no, but he gives me a lecture about how I'm leading people to Hell. Every negative consequence in my house was, "You're going to Hell." "You didn't make your bed? Going to Hell. You didn't take out the trash? Going to Hell."
So I say my dad has what kind of an attitude? A bad attitude. And what does he say about my attitude? That it is also a bad attitude.
Transcript by CastingWords
